Dating

Although I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, (and quite frankly don't want one any time soon), I feel the need to share with everyone what my rules of dating would be. So, I've decided to right a letter to this future boyfriend.

Dear Fella of Which I Am Dating,
You sir, my clearly like me a lot if you are being patient enough to deal with a crazy chick like me, so thank you. And since I have a rule that I have to go on a date with the guy before I decide to call him "boyfriend", you clearly passed the test. Good job, 10 points for you. But I must say some things that need to be said. We do NOT need to be physically attached to each other at all times of the day, holding hands and hugging is fine in public, but we DONT need to be ca-noodling at every given moment of the day. I also don't intend on saying "I love you" the very second we start dating, because I'm saving that for the very moment I'm ready to say it. Most couples today say "I love you" like its no big deal-and it is a very big deal. No "I love you"'s until we're both ready-however long that will be, I'm not sure, but you'll have to live with it til we're both ready to say those three words.
I have yet to have been kissed for the very first time, and we don't need to kiss the second we start dating. And if we're dating each other from school, we don't need to make out like its the last time we're ever going to see each other each time we leave for class. Its unnecissary and, quite frankly, NOT very classy. As a matter of fact, the world doesn't need to see us be intamite all the time. Sorry, you'll live.
I don't need it all the time, but if I'm having a really crappy day, do something cute. It'll make me feel good. Nothing too huge, just give me a flower and tell me I'm beautiful or something like that. Simple, yet adorable. and, also DONT read me cutie tutie lines that you saw off of the internet-quite frankly, those are tacky.
If I seem upset, but I said I'm fine, then I'm fine. Trust me, you're my boyfriend, I will TELL you if I'm upset. If I say I'm fine and I look upset, I'm probably just tired, and I really am fine. So just believe me. Plus, don't be mad at me when I'm having girltime(I let you have guytime, I need girltime) OR hanging out with some of my guy friends(you're my boyfriend, not them, so don't be paranoid, those guys are like my brothers)
Lastly, if we've been dating long enough to were we've finally said "I love you" and you plan on marrying me one day, I have two rules when it comes to the proposal. Rule No. 1-Don't propose to me over food. Mealtime is important to me, and I like to be focused on the food. If you propose to me over food, the food just isn't going to taste as good BECAUSE I'm too excited about getting married. Rule No. 2-be creative. That's all I ask. Don't do the same old thing everyone does. Thanks a bunch.
So, if you've agreed to all of this---CONGRADULATIONS, we will be the most adorable couple ever. You're the guy, I'll let you wear the pants in this relationship, but just so you know-I'm wearing a squart (skirt with shorts) so I'm not totally dependent on you. I'm very independent, and I hope you can deal with that. Thank you, I like you :)
Love, your Girlfriend, Emily