Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Two weeks ago, I lost an old friend in a really bad car accident. His name was Derrick and he was only 16 years old with his whole life ahead of him. I was an emotional wreck the rest of the week. That Friday, I attended his funeral, and I began crying the moment I saw his coffin, and to add to my tears, the church was playing some music from a band that he was in, and he was the one singing. When the service began, his mom walked into the room, already crying (she used to teach at my school, so I knew her) and I had a horrible flashback of when a friend of mine, Mrs. Dee lost her eldest daughter in a boating accident. Watching Derrick's mom cry over her son and watching Mrs. Dee cry over her daughter were two of the hardest things I ever had to experience.
During the service, a praise team got up on stage and started singing "How Great Is Our God", I hummed along the tune, but I was far too conjested from all the tears to try and sing. Then, during the song, I looked over at Derrick's mom. There she was, next to her husband and crying daughter, with her hand in the air, singing the words to the song, praising God.
This was the moment where I was completely bawling. She was praising God, at her own son's funeral. It really made me think, "if she's able to stand there, praise her Father in Heaven, her Father who took her son away from her, and praising God isn't exactly the first thing I think about when I'm hurting." There's no way I could ever feel the pain she felt that day, at this point in my life, and yet, she was praising God for everything.
That day I couldn't tell if that was the hardest thing I'd ever witnessed, or the most beautiful. But I know one thing for sure, I walked out of Derrick's funeral a changed person.
Rest in Peace Derrick. May our memories of you last forever.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Face It

On Sunday night I went to a Matthew West concert, it was so incredible, I cried a couple of times. His opening act was a guy named Johnny Diaz who sings the song “More Beautiful You”, a song I’d heard a million times on the radio. But when he was on the radio, I thought he was talking about a beautiful God, turns out, it’s about his wife. Before he sang the song he talked about how girls in general have this constant obsession with looking beautiful. (I mean, have you ever noticed how much longer we take in the bathroom that guys do?)

One of my favorite shows this summer was called “HUGE” it was about a camp for extremely overweight teenagers to help them lose weight. The main character on the show was named Will, (short for Wilhelmina) and on the very first episode she told the camp counselor that she didn’t want to lose weight because she “was down with her fat,” and “me and my fat are BFF”. Throughout the entire series you saw girls trying sooooo hard to lose weight and make themselves skinnier. Will’s one friend, Becca, wanted to lose weight so bad so she “could make herself beautiful”. But Will asked her, “Becca, if we lived in the Medieval times, when fat was considered beautiful, would you have wanted to be fat?” Becca never answered the question.

Face it ladies: although some of us won’t admit it, but we all deep down inside want to be beautiful. But think about this: who told you that you weren’t beautiful in the first place? Who made up these standards we try to live up to, that turn out to just be crap? I’ll tell you who: Idiots who know nothing whatsoever. God made us beautiful just the way we are. Face it. It’s true.

Men who read this (if you’re still reading): Tell the special women in your life that they’re beautiful. Everyday, if you want to, because even though some girls already know how beautiful God made them, we like a little reminder now and then.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Although I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, (and quite frankly don't want one any time soon), I feel the need to share with everyone what my rules of dating would be. So, I've decided to right a letter to this future boyfriend.

Dear Fella of Which I Am Dating,
You sir, my clearly like me a lot if you are being patient enough to deal with a crazy chick like me, so thank you. And since I have a rule that I have to go on a date with the guy before I decide to call him "boyfriend", you clearly passed the test. Good job, 10 points for you. But I must say some things that need to be said. We do NOT need to be physically attached to each other at all times of the day, holding hands and hugging is fine in public, but we DONT need to be ca-noodling at every given moment of the day. I also don't intend on saying "I love you" the very second we start dating, because I'm saving that for the very moment I'm ready to say it. Most couples today say "I love you" like its no big deal-and it is a very big deal. No "I love you"'s until we're both ready-however long that will be, I'm not sure, but you'll have to live with it til we're both ready to say those three words.
I have yet to have been kissed for the very first time, and we don't need to kiss the second we start dating. And if we're dating each other from school, we don't need to make out like its the last time we're ever going to see each other each time we leave for class. Its unnecissary and, quite frankly, NOT very classy. As a matter of fact, the world doesn't need to see us be intamite all the time. Sorry, you'll live.
I don't need it all the time, but if I'm having a really crappy day, do something cute. It'll make me feel good. Nothing too huge, just give me a flower and tell me I'm beautiful or something like that. Simple, yet adorable. and, also DONT read me cutie tutie lines that you saw off of the internet-quite frankly, those are tacky.
If I seem upset, but I said I'm fine, then I'm fine. Trust me, you're my boyfriend, I will TELL you if I'm upset. If I say I'm fine and I look upset, I'm probably just tired, and I really am fine. So just believe me. Plus, don't be mad at me when I'm having girltime(I let you have guytime, I need girltime) OR hanging out with some of my guy friends(you're my boyfriend, not them, so don't be paranoid, those guys are like my brothers)
Lastly, if we've been dating long enough to were we've finally said "I love you" and you plan on marrying me one day, I have two rules when it comes to the proposal. Rule No. 1-Don't propose to me over food. Mealtime is important to me, and I like to be focused on the food. If you propose to me over food, the food just isn't going to taste as good BECAUSE I'm too excited about getting married. Rule No. 2-be creative. That's all I ask. Don't do the same old thing everyone does. Thanks a bunch.
So, if you've agreed to all of this---CONGRADULATIONS, we will be the most adorable couple ever. You're the guy, I'll let you wear the pants in this relationship, but just so you know-I'm wearing a squart (skirt with shorts) so I'm not totally dependent on you. I'm very independent, and I hope you can deal with that. Thank you, I like you :)
Love, your Girlfriend, Emily

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A Hug

Last night I was upset about something someone said to me and I wanted someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me it would all be ok. Don't think that I'm talking about wanting a boyfriend-thats NOT what I want right now. But I didn't want it to be a close friend or a family member. Jesus. I was really feeling His love when I was upset, and I knew emotionally and mentally He was my shoulder to cry on, but I physically wanted to hug Jesus. At that moment I knew that even though I plan on going to Heaven already, but I had to hug Jesus one day. There are countless reasons why I want to go to Heaven, but I added something to my list-to hug Jesus. I want Him to hug me and tell me never to worry again. And just thinking of that one day that will happen made me the happiest person in the world. I'm not scared of dying anymore

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Am A Tree

this is a poem I wrote back in early May, back when I was thinking alot about the ground on which I stand.

I Am A Tree

There I stand
Stuck, nothing
But my roots begin to spread

With water and soil,
My roots make me
Strong and tall

Nothing can beat me down
I'm too big
For my enemies

In thanks,
I give my roots seeds
So my fellow tree pals may grow

My fruit feeds,
My flowers bring a smile,
My leaves bring shade.

I'm able to help those
Who need me,
All because of my roots

I Am A Tree

The Musee d'Orsay

For those of you that went to France and England with me, when you saw me walking around the Musee d'Orsay on our last day in Paris, you most likely saw me walking around with my journal in my hand. It took me a while to decide if I wanted to share this but, I've decided I wanted to. The beginning of this journal entry doesn't start with the Musee d'Orsay, but you'll be able to tell when I do.

I felt as though I had a hangover this morning after our Dance in France and Rave in the Cave; my head was pounding so hard. Aunt Heath pulled and April Fool's joke on us this morning- SO RUDE! We went to a cathedral today, the windows were just amazingly gorgeous, but I was all into the architecture of the building itself. While everyone was staring at the windows, my eyes were staring at that instead. Oh Monet (this was after we finally came in the Musee d'Orsay), pure genius. What he does with colors is just so pure, I can't think of a word to do him justice. He captures beautiful moments as if every color was laid out in front of him. Sunsets are indescribable, yet he is able to detaily recieve every color in it. The ocean isn't just one color as other artists may put it, it is many shades that are displayed in maraculous work. Claude Monet seese things from perspectives in which most people don't, like how I do with my photography. This paintings make me feel as if I could jump right into the scene if I so desired, which I do. He's the only painter I feel can do so to me. His painting "Coquelicots" is just simply breathtaking. A woman and her child in a beautiful patch of poppies. The sky is perfectly blue-like today in particular. His paintings of water lilies are simply marvolous. Flowers in the breeze (different painting)with the woman and her umbrella and her dress in the wind-breathtaking. Colors of flowers below her of greens, various pinks, its like he took a snapshot. Monet's cathedral series is just simply perfect, not sure which is my personal favorite, but they are all equally persice in its timing of sunlight, night, dawn, noon, etc. I'm back to the water lilies-its almost looks like a gator could just swim right through and it would just work. Van Gough-eh. everything is too outlined, the base of the paintings are too thick. Moving on, I'm in a room, and it is just...so...gold, royal, I feel like my jeans and cardigan are unworthy for this room, as if I have to dress up just to enter. Its like heaven, no matter how hard I could try, I would never be worthy enough to simply dance in this room, yet alone walk into it, but I just did. Just like that. Freedom and forgiveness and grace let me in. Grace was what let me in this room by the muesum owners and its God's grace thats letting me into heaven one day. Curse that dreaded no cameras rule. People are just sitting around making out when there is such beauty all around them, I feel like that's God's beauty and no one pays any attention. But God's beauty isn't something I can see or touch, but feel with my heart and no one is paying attention. I'm actually starting to get slightly pissed because of it. People in this muesum are completely ignoring the detail these building designers put into here. Such percisness and similarity, I know it used to be a trainstation but 15/16ths of the people probably just ignored it then. People are just so blind and they can't see whats right in front of them... and I mean REALLY blind. Its the biggest part of the muesum and people are MISSING IT! just like God's love-its so freakin ginormous, I don't understand how people are missing it. It just fathoms me. Of course lots of people often see the big picture, but how many of the people can make out the vaguest details? I'm in the photography section, I noticed not many people were inside, but what all these people are finding boring are what the artists themselves are finding beautiful. The photographer captured the moment they found beautiful. Talk about individuality. Many portraits are of naturea dn that most people just walk past, but the photographers are forever capturing that moment they found beauty in which they wanted to remember forever. "Photography Not Art" was the name of that exhibit. But anthing can be art. ARt is something one person finds beautiful and another person does not. A photographer finds his pics beautiful, a musician finds his music beautiful, a biologist finds whatever it is he does beautiful, a chef finds his food beautiful, a painter finds his paintings beautiful, a mother finds her child beautiful, a designer finds her clothing beautiful. God finds us beautiful. Its. all. art. "All alone in my own little corner, in my own little chair, I can be whatever I want to be."-Cinderella song. So I was extremely upset when we had to leave the museum. I took a 10 min nap, woke up, and forgot were I was....and blah blah blah. the rest of that entry was just about the rest of that day. But all of that took up 4 pages in my journal. I hope you found something in it.


Emily Lynne. My mind is a story in and of itself. I have very different views on subjects, and I'm not afraid to speak my mind on a subject. When taking a rightbrain/leftbrain test I got a fifty-fifty score. But the thing is, my mind doesn't make up who I am, my heart does. These are the thoughts deep within my heart.