Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Destination: NY Part 1

I've decided to blog my journey to finally getting to NYC. Most people don't know this, but it actually all started when I was just 15. I decided to make it into different parts, that way I won't have the LONGEST blog post ever.

When I was in high school, my youth pastor used to always take a group of teens on a missions trip to NYC. I'd always wanted to go there, but I never went on the trips because I never felt called to go. If I went on the trip, it'd be for my own selfish reasons.

After a team came home from NYC when I was 15, they'd always do a service showing the church what it is they did and sharing experiences there. When they were praying in the end-I felt God finally tell me, "You're going to NYC." So I told my mom that next year I'd be going on the trip.

Some things happened at the church and our youth pastor moved elsewhere-so no NYC trip for Emily.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

No More Heart Scabs.

Sometimes people come into our lives and we are overwhelmed with love for them that we can't explain why. There was someone that I truely truely cared about in my life that didn't know how to love me the way I loved them. They made my heart break weekly but I still cared about them. I could never quite explain why.

I believe God point said person in my life to help me grow. I learned not to invest so much time into someone that didn't care. I still needed to care about that person and pray for them-but not completely fill my thoughts with them they way I had once done.

After a long period of time I slowly but surely thought my heart was healing from all the scrapes and bruises it had. But I never TRUELY let go. I thought I was okay again and I was moving on with my life. But every now and again I would hear a song, watch a movie, or hear a story that would remind me of that person and my heart would cringe because I still had a scab from those heart scrapes.

I'm now completely in love with someone else and I was determined that my heart was okay again. But recently I made contact with said person and I felt okay but I found myself thinking about them again. For some reason I felt the Holy Spirit tell me I needed to see that person.

So I went and had coffee with said human being and I was really nervous while I waited in my car for them to arrive. When they got there we chatted about what's new, old friends, school, etc. etc. and while I was talking to them, I felt okay.

I was finally okay. I left there feeling okay. I my heart scab was gone. THAT was why the Holy Spirit told me to spend time with them. Because I finally got my closure that I thought I already had but didn't. I feel completely healed now. Like I said before, my heart scab is gone. Will I see this person again in life? I don't know. If I do, I'll be okay. If I don't, I'll be okay. I feel calm. I feel healed. I'm finally okay :)