Saturday, April 30, 2011
Prom is tonight! I couldn't be more excited! My dearest tall friend was wondering why I was actually excited about something the typical teenage girl was excited about. (Because quite frankly, I am NOT the typical teenage girl in high school). Honestly, I don't follow the crowd, things that make the sterotypical teenage girl excited, doesn't make me excited. But prom...I'm excited. Tonight is going to be MY night. I'll make sure to post a picture of my complete look!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Let me start out by saying that Adele is FANTASTIC and I love this song to death! (Plus, even though it wasn't as good as Adele, they sang this song on glee!) I'm not 100% on what this song is about exactly (relationship-wise) some say its about an abusive relationship, some say its about opening up. Lately there has been a certain fella (two fellas, actually) that have been on my mind a lot. One of them I hang out with ALL the time, the other I don't see as often, but he makes me feel so special. But here's the big thing-neither are Christians. It KILLS me.
I don't know how, but I can keep myself from liking someone if I really put my mind to it. I have yet to admit to myself that I have feelings for either one of these guys (and it takes me a lot to admit it to myself-see older blog post of mine). So this one line from this song has really stuck out to me-"I won't let you close enough to hurt me", which is hard to do, but I've decided that that's how I'm going to be with the two of them. I don't open up as easily as I used to to guys, and it's made me strong. It was difficult for me to think this (but not as much anymore) but I can actually prevent my own heartbreak. So, basically, I've decided to protect my heart from it being broken by those fine young men. One day (should they decide to follow Jesus and I'm ready) I may open up to them. But for now, I'm keeping my heart safe.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Nothing too exciting, but I have a simple story. So our church is having everyone put signs in their yard advertising for the Easter Sunday service next week. Naturally, we have one in our yard. So, while my mom, Alex, and I were out yesterday a guy my mom hired came and did something to our yard/patio/front of the house area. The guy saw the sign in our yard, so what does he assume? That we WANT lots of signs in our yard. So we pull onto our street, what do we see? A giant sign advertising for his paint services. What did I do? Ripped it out of the ground and told my mother, "The Easter sign has a significant purpose, this other one just flat-out looks tacky." So what does she do in response? Laughs at my comment. I love bringing my mother laughter, I truely do.
Friday, April 15, 2011
And that's just I couldn't be any happier that it's spring break. This is the first year in a long time that I haven't done anything. I'm going to get my lisence on Tuesday, going to go see One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at USCL on Sunday, taking Alex to go see the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, probably going to go play paintball with Lacey and some people she wants to see, going shopping with Hannah, skype movie date with Kyndall, actually getting some sleep for once, and just having a break. Nothing big. Just calm, relaxed, and preparing for the stressful prom week after my week off. Just as Glinda said, "I couldn't be happier!"
Thursday, April 14, 2011
.....the truth really does set you free. Well it sets me free at least. I'm probably one of the best secret keepers in the world. People trust me so easily, that really random people will tell me their deepest darkest secrets within five minutes of me meeting them. Ever seen Mean Girls? Remember that part when the Burn Book gets out and all the girls go insane and practically kill each other? Well, I have enough secrets in my head to make that happen if I wanted to.... Well, this past week I found out (yet another secret) something really big, and without her knowing it, but my mother was (kind of) a part of it. Someone asked her to do her a favor, so she did it, and when I found out what the favor was for, I stopped it without telling her. It really killed me inside that I didn't tell her what was really going on. I didn't want to tell her because (literally) the exact same situation happened a few years ago, and I lost some friendships over it, and I did NOT want that to happen again. But the past few days it was eating me up inside. So I finally told her about it today and I felt so relieved. She was a bit concerned about what I'm going to be do in the future now but other than that she didn't make too big of a deal about it. (Because it didn't really involve her much) But the amount of relief I felt after I told her felt like twenty pounds got lifted off of my shoulders. So, really, don't think it's too cliche, but the truth does set you free.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
....how much I LOVE my small group? They make me feel so special. Giving words of encouragement to others has always been a big deal with me. I always want people to be uplifted with whatever they're doing. But tonight we were finishing up book study on "Forgotten God" (which is great, I might add!) and one of our leaders made these little pages and framed them and gave one to each of us. They had your name and a bunch of words that the girls in the small group used to describe that person (and they were written in a funky way.) But as I was reading them, I just felt so special. And people may deny it until pigs fly, but listening to things like that really makes a person feel good.
The things that were written on there made me feel like I was actually doing something right. (and I don't feel that way very often) These lovely ladies are just so wonderful. God has truely blessed me with them! (In case you hadn't noticed, but I don't use names on my blog) but we prayed as a group over each individual person and when it got to my turn, my dearest love prayed for me and I wanted to cry. She is one of VERY few people who knows my ENTIRE life story so she just simply said in her prayer, "God, Emily has been through A LOT in her life, yet she's able to smile everyday and encourage each of us all the time." I love that woman!
So, if this blog post seemed like it was all about me, I didn't intend for it to be that way. This blog post was to show people how blessed I am to be surrounded by such wonderful women each and every week!
Monday, April 11, 2011
There's this kid at my school who is gay and he assumes that I'm out to get him and that I hate all gay people. I want to start this post by saying this: one of my close guy friends is a closested homosexual and my un-biological uncle is as well. God calls me to love, so I love them dispite the lifestyle they live. Here's what I believe on the matter: All sin is equal, right? We're all sinners, right? So, me lying to my parents about something is just as bad as being in a homosexual relationship, right? Right. This is why I don't "condem" (as this person at school likes to tell me) gay people. True, I think that they're sinning, but aren't I sinning if I judge them for it? So I'm pretty much just as bad. John 8:7
People really start to annoy me sometimes. First off-you think ALL Christians are judgemental? Don't you think that's just a tinsy bit hypocritical? Not everyone falls into the sterotype. In fact, a lot of people don't fall into the sterotype. Second- I hate it when people find it insulting when a Christian says something about God or Jesus or anything like that. Don't you think WE think its a little insulting when you shout out "JESUS" or "OH MY GOD" every other second of the day? There's this person at school who has been sterotyping me every single day and practically quizzes me on my own religion. He does it because he WANTS me to screw up so he can call me lukewarm or a hypocrite. I'm just so sick of some people lately.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Ever since last October, I felt like my world was turned upside down with all the changes that were occurring at my church. My youth pastor, Daryl Sutherland, wasn't going to be our youth pastor anymore, which I've had a really hard time with. I come from a home that's full of hugs and "I love you"s and that's what Daryl was like. I have so much to thank him for, he's helped me grow in so many ways and I thank God everyday for blessing me with a pastor like him.
When the announcement was made that he was leaving, he told us that he was still going to be the Missions Pastor at our church, so we would still see him pretty often. The adjustments of him not teaching us on Sunday nights was difficult, but I still got to see him pretty often, so it wasn't too hard.
After a while, Daryl got a job offer at a different church, and he took it. He and his simply wonderful family were leaving Southbrook. It killed me. His daughter, Kyndall and I had become WONDERFUL friends, his son Ky hugged me everytime he saw me, and his wife, Sherri was the sweetest lady on planet Earth...and they were all leaving.
After the Sutherlands left Southbrook, changes started happening...fast. Every Sunday, something in our youth building was different, there were new rules, a lot of my friends left, and in all honesty, I didn't feel the love that I used to feel every week bursting from the students and leaders like I used to. I've always been one to like change, but it had to be slow changes, and given time to adjust. There wasn't any time this time.
For the longest time I wanted to leave Southbrook. It wasn't my home anymore. I wasn't excited to come anymore. I didn't feel the love like I used to. My mom told me that once I got my car, that if I felt called, I could go to a different church if I wanted to. And I wanted to. I never told any of my friends, but I had made plans to start "church shopping."
This past Sunday we had a Worship Night like we do from time to time. I sang the words, but I didn't feel really feel it. Then, they sang David Crowder Band's "How He Loves Us", a song that always makes me cry. Then I felt God saying to me, "You don't feel the love here anymore? Yeah there's been changes, but my love has stayed the same. I'm your whole reason for you coming to this place every week. Why are you leaving?" I began to bawl. I had God's love, why did I need anything else? Yeah there's been changes, but that's life. I felt at home again at Southbrook for the first time in months.
When I was in Charleston, I attended Seacoast Church (man, I love that church, if I lived in Charleston, I'd go there all the time!) and the pastor talked about being content with what I have. My mom was with me so she brought that message up whenever I wasn't happy about what was going on at church. I've finally learned how to be content again.